Snow White: Yawn…oh brave prince! You woke me!
Prince Charming: Ohmygodshe'saliveohgod…
Snow White: What?
Prince Charming: I mean yes. That is exactly what I wanted to do. Wake you up.
Snow White: Where are your pants?
Mulan: Captain! I…I have a secret.
Captain: I too, have an announcement. I love you-
Mulan: I'm a woman!
(pause)
Mulan: Wait. Did you say that before I-
Captain: Oh…wow. Uh…yikes. Nevermind. My bad.
Mulan: Wait, what? So you're-
Captain: I made us do all our training in the form of an elaborate musical. What exactly did you expect?
Ariel: It's true. I was a mermaid- I used to be a fish from the waist down.
Prince: Huh. Well, at least that explains the smell.
Jasmine: But this romance can never be! You're not a prince, and my father is too protective to even let me out of the castle!
Aladdin: So he's that protective, but he still let's you dress like that.
Jasmine: Excuse me?
Aladdin: Also, you have a pet tiger. I'm just saying. But I found a genie, so it's all good.
Jasmine: That's perfect! You can wish to be a prince and win my heart through a series of difficult challenges, and battles with the evil Jafar so we can be wed!
Aladdin: Nah. I just wished for a million whores.
Jasmine: Wow. Um, well you still jave-
Aladdin: But then I remembered: a million whores isn't cool. You know what's cool?
Jasmine: …a billion-
Aladdin: Laser vision. Laser vision is cool as shit.
Jasmine: Huh. But of course you used your third wish to free the geni-
Aladdin: Forty trillion whores.
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